Thursday, January 27, 2011

January Haiku

Ok, so here are my lame and pitiful attempts at the January Haiku (Reading/Books)

I adore reading,
It makes me very happy.
Do you like it too?

Writing demands a
Vivid imagination
and tenacity.

Romance Time Travel,
It will be my claim to fame,
If I can finish.

Oh well, better luck next time!

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Write a letter of apology for inappropriate behavior to the host of a fictional party you attended the night before.

Dear Mrs. Pearson

I must sincerely apologize for the deplorable contretemps that occurred at your New Year's Eve Party last evening.  I can assure you that had I not been tricked into thinking it was a Harry Potter Costume party, I would not have come dressed as such.  I certainly did not mean to surface your long buried, and deeply rooted fear of all things magical.

I supposed I should have realized when most attendees were dressed in rather muggle-like, excuse me, I mean normal clothing, that something was amiss.  I did not, however, realize the depths of my faux pas until those truly incredible, I mean, horrible magic events began to entertain your guests.

I assure you that I am not a witch, no matter how long you have thought thusly of me.  I have no clue how the bowls of candy turned into Weasley's Wizard Wheezes, nor how they actually functioned like those in the book.  Additionally, I was not aware of your fear of being pecked to death by canaries, but had I known, I can assure you I would not have encouraged your husband to try the candy.  He really was only trying to kiss you and wish you a Happy New Year.

Furthermore, the "wand" I brought is not a real wand, not even one that was purchased off of the internet.  I made it myself from a branch of a tree I found lying on the ground in the park.  The fact that my firework display overshadowed your simulation of the dropping of the ball at midnight was not intentional.  I was simply pointing out the lights to another guest and the totally awesome magic spurts came right out as I pointed the tip to indicate the direction she should look.

I am intensely aware that your grievances are too numerous to mention but I most humbly apologize for all, en masse.  Indeed, I am reminded of them nearly every moment of the day as my ears are still ringing from your amazingly high-pitched, piercing screams.

Should you ever come out of your house again, please do consider holding another party.  I promise never to mention, well, nevermind.


Your (former) Boss
Ms. Candula Palmer

P.S.  As you requested, enclosed, please find your final paycheck.